How To Fool People Into Thinking You’re Neat

25 Oct

Step 1: Don’t own a lot of stuff
Step 2: DO own a Roomba
Step 3: THERE IS NO STEP 3

It’s hard to keep a lid on “stuff creep”, especially in the US, where everything is so cheap. My weaknesses are board games (stored invisibly in the couch) and clothes – not so much about having lots of clothes as it is trying to find the perfect shirt, the perfect jeans, etc. so I can look put-together without expending any effort.

Which brings me back to the Roomba; pretty much the embodiment of no-effort big-reward. It vacuums your house! It freaking vacuums your house!

image from iRobot

Sometimes the Roomba doesn’t get everything on the first pass so when it’s charged up I just send it out again. I run it even when I think the floors look clean but when I empty the canister it’s full of dust and cat fur. Where did that all come from? It also forces me to keep stuff off the ground – I feel super guilty if I come home and find that the Roomba has choked on a sock.

Almost all our friends here own one. It’s not as popular back in Australia but we’ve gotten James’ parents, my parents, Cat and Ivo to buy one, and they all love it (and have been getting their friends on board too). They all live in 3-4 bedroom houses so I think they just run it more often than we do. Apparently it works fine on carpet and can detect stairs so you don’t need to worry about it plummeting to its death.

James has a bit of a love/hate relationship with the Roomba. Sometimes when it’s fruitlessly trying to find its way back to the docking station he’ll give it a look of contempt, pick it up and put it back in its charger. The Roomba does his victory chirp and James is all “don’t you sing at me like you found your own way home.”

Also the cats don’t ride around on the Roomba like I had hoped. =(

My mum said that my dad runs theirs twice a day and keeps going “it’s so clean! So clean!” Ha! Apparently they’ve had various friends and family over to marvel over it.

So yeah, if you don’t have a Roomba you need to buy one. Dooo eeet. It’s the best thing I’ve ever bought and it just saves so much time (and it’s so satisfying to empty it – kind of like “this is all the crap I didn’t have to vacuum.”

And like I said earlier, the combination of clean floors and not owning much stuff tricks people into thinking I’m neat. I think it’s all the uncluttered surfaces – or maybe they just think we’ve put all our stuff away? Chuck says he’s intimidated by how clean our place is and calls it the “hermetically-sealed apartment.” But I’m secretly like “little do you know – I’m filthy. I didn’t even shower today.”

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10 Responses to “How To Fool People Into Thinking You’re Neat”

  1. Shiva October 26, 2013 at 10:35 am #

    So, does roomba works for puppy too? Dyson do a better job or roomba?

    • pamperedhousewife October 26, 2013 at 11:09 am #

      We had a Dyson back in Melbourne and while the Dyson has more suction power the Roomba is more of a game-changer.

      It’s really good at picking up pet fur and dander but more importantly “I” can vacuum every day (or even 3-4 times a day) which is something I definitely didn’t do with the Dyson!

      • Shiva October 26, 2013 at 6:55 pm #

        We also had dayson animal back in Australia, it’s really cool if vacuum cleaner do its own job with out help, in that case it can work everyday:)

  2. Irresponsible October 27, 2013 at 3:18 pm #

    “Also the cats don’t ride around on the Roomba like I had hoped. =(”
    I Loled!

    • pamperedhousewife October 27, 2013 at 8:14 pm #

      Seriously! I feel like YouTube betrayed me on this. Although maybe it’s for the best because a friend said his friend’s cat liked sitting on the Roomba but eventually broke it with its fatness.

      • Irresponsible October 28, 2013 at 9:10 pm #

        You can train them by putting their food on it. Then just keep chasing your cats so they don’t get fat and can ride all the time. Don’t give up on the dream!

      • pamperedhousewife October 30, 2013 at 9:07 pm #

        Ha I had the same thought about tempting them with food!

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